To Stop You From Disappearing
by yourprettyprettypetticoat
Summary: Six years ago Blaine made a decision that changed his life forever, and unknowingly Kurt's. What Kurt doesn't know is that he saved someone very special all those years ago, and now Blaine's back, asking him to do the same again. Mentions MPREG
1. Prologue

**TO STOP YOU FROM DISAPPEARING. **

_So this is a continuation, full chapter fic of my one-shot "Born to Die". You don't necessarily have to read the one-shot if you haven't already however I would advise you too just to make reading this one a little more fluid. _

_Warnings: mentions of previous MPREG and ABORTION. If you don't like that I have no problem with you pressing your back button now. _

PROLOGUE

Everything about Blaine Anderson's life screamed 'different'.

He was gay. He then found out he had a genetic mutation enabling him to have a child, _once_ he was pregnant.

He then went to have his child aborted... I suppose you could say there's nothing particularly 'different' about a 17 year old wanting to remain free from parenthood. What was different was how that trip to the hospital changed Blaine's life forever.

###

_"Mr Anderson, I have to have a final verbal piece of consent before I go ahead with this procedure." The doctor said between Blaine's knees. "Once it's taken place there's no going back."_

_Blaine's eyes shot open, looking straight ahead at the doctor. Thoughts paced through his mind but the most prominent one..._

_"What would Kurt say if he ever found out?" _

_But he wouldn't, they weren't together, the world had given him no sign to not do this - he had to do this._

_"Please... just do it."_

_Blaine leaned back, staring at the ceiling as he felt the doctor approach him closer and closer. He suddenly felt the feeling of something probing him - easing in slowly. Tears immediately sprung in his eyes, Blaine had to bite his lip to stop them from dropping onto his cheeks. His heart was gradually beating faster and faster and he turned his head so the side of it rest on the pillow. He slowly closed his eyes when his brain caught up with him - his phone was lit._

_He quickly opened his eyes again and made them focus on the phone. Kurt was calling him._

_...Kurt was calling him._

_It was Blaine's sign he so desperately wished for - he needed it to not be too late._

_"Stop!" Blaine screamed with his tears still in his eyes._

_"Mr Anderson, is everything okay?" The doctor looked startled. _

_"No. Stop it, please, what you're doing - just take it out and stop it!" The doctor looked pitiful as she removed the instrument. "Did you do it yet?"_

_"Mr Anderson, in males this is a long and invasive procedure - we're not even nearly done. We haven't made contact with the foetus yet."_

_"So my baby's okay?" Blaine panicked._

_A look of realisation then swept the doctor's face. Whenever a patient referred to the foetus as 'my baby' or 'my child' she knew that there was no way they'd be able to have or would carry on with the termination._

_"Your baby's perfectly fine... Does this mean you'd like to stop the planned procedure?"_

_Blaine nodded distinctively as the tears finally graced his cheeks. _

###

So again, yes, you could say that Blaine's life had been fairly different. Thankfully that phone call got him where he was today... that _sign_, that _symbol_ of hope he was searching for came in a phone call from his baby's father.

His baby's father who pocket dialled him.

Kurt didn't call on purpose. Blaine at first couldn't decide whether it was just another cruel trick of fate into the teenager's life or a gift. A gift that kept him from making the one thing that means the absolute world to him... disappear.

Blaine couldn't go back on his decision though. He now knew he was going to have a baby. Although already being nine weeks pregnant he decided not to tell anyone, he'd easily brushed it off to his mom that it was just a stomach bug that would eventually let off by itself and she actually believed him. School was normal, he didn't actually suffer from physical sickness that badly and he could easily hide his nausea - sure he was getting tired a lot but again he could just put that down to fighting off a stomach bug, the pressures of senior year and being a withstanding and previous member of glee club with Tina, Artie, Sugar and Rory.

That was until Artie decided he was super hungry and ate his chicken sandwich left over from lunch in the middle of the choir room just before practise. Blaine could remember it to this day, the immediate feeling of sickness rising from the pit of his stomach...

_All of a sudden Blaine raced up from his chair and out of the choir room, one hand over his stomach, the other over his mouth. He paced through the hallway before immediately turning a corner into the, thankfully, empty boys bathroom. He didn't even have time to bolt the cubicle door before he threw up into the toilet bowl. He coughed, spluttered, and once his stomach emptied his lunch, all that his stomach rose through his body was horrific bile acid. _

_"Blaine? ... Blaine, sweetie, are you okay?" The sweet voice of Miss Pillsbury passed his ears and he just groaned. He felt her slowly and apprehensively walk into the cubicle he occupied, she went to put a soothing hand on his back before she realised where she was - her hand quickly retreated and she had an immediate urge to wash her hands a zillion times in the sinks just 5 steps from her... but she was the guidance counsellor and even if this young boy was just sick - she had to look after him, it was her job after all._

_"Miss Pillsbury I'm fine... just fighting off the last of the stomach bug that's all."_

_"Really? Because then you shouldn't be in school." And then she mumbled... "Oh god, I'm going to get sick. Oh god, oh god." She dashed to the sinks and began scrubbing her hands._

_Blaine suddenly felt immensely guilty. He got up off his knees and stumbled over to her._

_"Miss Pillsbury, d-don't worry the doctor said it wasn't contagious." Wow... Blaine was getting really good at lying. _

_"I can't afford to get sick, being sick affects your chances of conception and me and Mr Schue have been trying for a few months now and nothing's happening!"_

_Well that made Blaine feel even worse, he immediately started crying - his hormones were all over the place._

_"I-I'm really s-sorry. You don't need to panic it's... it's not a bug." Blaine hiccupped._

_"Then why were sick, Blaine?" She immediately returned to the caring teacher Blaine had come to recognise. "Blaine if something's wrong it would help you to tell me."_

_"You'll think I'm a freak..." He whispered full of sorrow._

_"Coming from the woman who's diagnosed with OCD? Don't think so."_

_"I'm pregnant." It was barely audible. He hadn't said it out loud before and here he was telling a teacher that he only knew through West Side Story rehearsals last year..._

Miss Pillsbury didn't think he was a freak at all; she was confused but once Blaine explained to her all the doctor previously told him, she quickly comforted Blaine telling him that "she'll do everything she can to help him."Then she asked about Kurt, Blaine immediately said he wasn't going to be involved - that thought hadn't even crossed his mind before but in all honesty he was scared. He was scared of Kurt's reaction, knowing about the baby and then just running off - but he was also scared that Kurt would be a great guy, leave NYADA, try and make an unhappy go of it with Blaine and raise their child together.

He couldn't hold Kurt back, he deserved to succeed so much.  
He simply couldn't do that being a father.

Blaine's stomach started to round at three months, only slightly - but his tight polo shirts couldn't deny the curve of his abdomen. Obviously no one asked about it, people thought that Blaine must have just put on a little weight, comfort eating because his relationship ended or something. Then by April, when Blaine was four months pregnant, Tina politely questioned how his weight only went to his stomach. With his hormones he just started balling his eyes out, Tina immediately put her arms around him - she didn't even say anything. He just told her. There and then.

Then Blaine realised he couldn't stay in Lima, he'd see Burt, Carol, Kurt when he came home for the summer and by then he'd be heavily pregnant - he wouldn't be able to hide it.

That night he cried to his mom and dad about everything, at first they were both bitterly furious, angry that he was so irresponsible but the look on their youngest son's face killed them - he knew he'd been stupid but they understood, they loved their son and they'd do anything for him.

Just like Blaine would for his child.

They skyped Cooper, told him everything. His once selfish brother said immediately Blaine and the baby could live with him in LA and that he could move out as soon as he graduated school.

And that's what he did... His last few days of school were spent in baggy hoodies. Tina begged him not to go and tell Kurt, he said he couldn't - and no one threatened that.

Before he knew it he was nine months pregnant, his feet ached, his body fatigued, crying himself to sleep every night but every time he felt his baby move - it gave him hope. Hope that something better will come along. His baby he so nearly made disappear.

Blaine would never forget the day he went into labour, 10 days later than his due date. The first of September 2013. The day his life changed forever.

Cooper was thankfully at the flash apartment with him, for once might he add, when a blistering pain ran through his stomach and he knew it - he was having his baby.

After 13 hours of his brother holding his hand while it felt like his back was splitting in half, the final moments quickly fell upon him.

_"Come on, Blaine, I need one more big push. Your baby's head is out, this last push and you'll be holding your baby boy or girl in your arms. Push on your next contraction, Blaine in three, two, one..."_

_Blaine bared down on everything he had to bringing his child he already loved so much safely into the world. Cooper was whispering encouragements into his ear as Blaine suddenly felt a surge of release and the most beautiful sound filled his ears... his baby's cry. _

_"It's a boy!" The doctor called as his son was whisked off to get cleaned. Blaine started sobbing and Cooper just held him, telling him how wonderfully proud he was of his kid brother._

_"Here you go, Blaine... meet your baby boy." The weight filled his arms and he felt complete, he had a head full of dark hair already showing signs of curling, his skin was a pale mocha and his lips so full - he was perfect. _

_But his nose, oh god his nose, that was Kurt - plain and simple. And the eyes, sure all baby's eyes were blue, but these were different - they weren't a dull blue colour like most baby's were. These eyes were light, with flecks of grey and green. These eyes held so much hope: Just like Kurt's did. _

_"Hi baby... I'm daddy and I love you so very, very much." The tears fell onto his cheeks without another thought. "You're so beautiful and I can't wait to take you home and look after you - but you have promise to look after me as well okay? And the way you're going to do that is being exactly who you are, no exceptions baby boy."_

_"He's perfect, Blaine. We're gonna be the three Anderson boys now taking on the world, huh? Daddy, Uncle Cooper and ..."_

_"Milo." Blaine breathed. "Milo Kurt Anderson."_

_Cooper looked at Blaine in awe. Cooper most certainly didn't agree with the decision Blaine was making to keep Milo from his other father but he did respect him for acknowledging Kurt in bringing his son into the world._

_" I am so sorry Milo, so sorry for what I nearly did to you. I was silly and wasn't thinking straight and that nearly made you get really, really hurt but someone helped me not do that to you. His name is Papa... and he would love you so much but he has things he needs to do and we need to let him do them because he is so perfect: just like you my beautiful, baby boy." Blaine whispered to his son. _

From that day forward Milo Kurt Anderson grew up knowing that a man called Papa stopped him from getting hurt and that Daddy loves him very much for that; but here Blaine was now. Five and a half years later, April 2019, kissing his son's cold and precious forehead as he slept. A kiss goodbye - because he had to go find Kurt again, something he thought he'd never do, to do the exact same thing...

To see if Milo's Papa could stop him from disappearing all over again.

_Like I said this is a continuation of "Born to Die" and I apologise if you would have wanted me to look at Blaine's pregnancy however this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Also I won't be fabulous at updating just because exam season is just about to start in a couple of weeks here in England and my focus is mainly that however I'll try to get a chapter up at least every two weeks :)_

_Review and Alert if you enjoyed or have any feedback what-so-ever :)_


	2. Chapter 1

_Thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts I had from the Prologue. I was so beyond happy and I thank anyone who read the first instalment. So here goes the first proper chapter: hope you enjoy and it lives up to any expectations you may have had._

CHAPTER ONE.

The plane flight was relatively simple. No turbulence nor delays. But that feeling in Blaine's stomach... that was something else all together. The nerves weren't just that mild butterfly feeling, it was full on sickness. The last time he felt like this was when he told his parents he was pregnant with Milo - and that went surprisingly well, but this, there was very little chance of this being an understanding and loving moment.

He was building the courage to tell his high school boyfriend that he had his baby more than five years ago.

Blaine knew it was wrong to keep Kurt out of the loop and most importantly Milo away from his other parent but he couldn't think like that now. He had to tell Kurt about their son. To keep his heart in one piece; if he didn't - he'd be broken forever.

Keeping in contact with Tina all these years had always been helpful and comforting. She was his only high school friend he kept in contact with and knew about Milo (and thus Mike too). She was doing amazing things, currently one of the murderesses in the Broadway version of Chicago and by the sounds of it couldn't be happier - living with Mike while he taught dance at a pretty prestigious institute for talented children.

Because of living in New York, Tina had stayed in contact with Rachel - who obviously still had her 'best gay' at her side and when Blaine called her needing information on where Kurt was, she subtly budged in a conversation with Rachel about how Kurt was doing and got straight back to Blaine.

So here he was... in a taxi in New York City feeling like he did six years ago when he found out he was pregnant. His heart was gradually beating faster and faster all the while feeling like it was in the pit of his stomach. He felt a buzz in his trouser pocket and quickly took out his iPhone, seeing a video message from Cooper destined to be opened. The picture immediately brought a smile to his face.

There was his five year old son not knowing his uncle was filming him, lying in an all familiar bed wearing a cowboy hat with his brother curled up next to him sneakily having his iPhone camera on reverse so both of them were in the picture.

_"Howdy partner! ... There's a snake in my boot!"_

Blaine laughed. So he was watching Toy Story again.

_"Buddy, say hi to daddy."_

The look on Milo's face was adorable, he went from ecstatically quoting his favourite character from his favourite movie to looking cutely grumpy.

_"Uncle Coop, are you filming me again!"_

_"Well, yeah, daddy has to know how much ya miss him, right?" _It never failed to surprise Blaine how much Cooper had grown up since he's moved in with him just before Milo was born. Maybe he realised he finally had to be a caring, big brother to his kid brother in need, or maybe it was seeing his kid brother growing up so quickly made him realise he eventually would have to grow up too.

And in all honesty, these last five years Cooper had been Blaine's biggest support system. When he was up all hours of the night with a newborn baby Cooper had offered to do the first feed of the new day and get Milo changed, just to give Blaine half an hour more sleep. Then when Milo was a year old Cooper helped support Blaine going to college and becoming an elementary school teacher by organising care for Milo during his classes.

And now... well Cooper was the reason he wasn't a sobbing mess in the corner of the room.

Milo gave a beam of a smile. _"Daddy's on the other side of the phone?" _

_"Sure, and he wants to listen to you, Mi."_

_"Hi daddy. It's me, Milo. Uncle Cooper says your listening so... I love you daddy, you're the best, I miss you lots and lots even though you don't do a very good Woody impression like me but that's okay because mine's really good."_

Blaine chuckled to himself, his baby boy meant everything to him - and it amazed him how strong he truly was.

_"Wrap it up, Mi. There's only a few seconds left."_

_"Daddy, don't forget to bring me something really cool back." _Milo drawled while yawning and Cooper focused the camera on him.

He whispered. _"Don't worry, he's doing fine. Good luck, love you Squirt."_ Cooper winked before the screen turned dark.

Even with Cooper's good luck message Blaine was still terrified beyond belief. He hadn't even thought this through properly; will he just barge into Kurt's apartment, tell him he has a kid and then demand him that he helps him and their son. Or does he try and befriend Kurt, go out for coffee dates and when they finally seem like those two high school boyfriends again drop the bomb on him.

Like he could do the second one: they didn't have time to go on coffee dates and get to know each other again...  
And Kurt had probably gotten over Blaine years ago.

His mind raced back to Milo, innocent Milo, who had never done anything to anyone in his short life but what if Kurt hated him? Claimed he wasn't his parent? Or worse... admitted he was his father and just walked away without a care in the world. Milo doesn't deserve that, Blaine's beautiful baby didn't deserve to have the cruel trick of the world played on him yet again.

Blaine looked up from the phone in his hands and put it in his pocket, taking in the New York surroundings. He leant forward to talk to the driver:

"Excuse me, could we pull up here, maybe?" One thing that had significantly changed about Blaine since things ended with Kurt and he had Milo, he wasn't the same dapper young man - sure he was still polite and graceful (you can't unlearn manners) - but he was more reserved, shy and as much as he wanted to blame it on the situation he's currently in, he couldn't. He had to be honest and realise having Milo so young made him more shut off from the world and, therefore, more nervous around people.

" Sure." The driver replied with his thick New York accent. "But we're literally a block away from the address you gave me. You sure?"

"Yeah... I think I might walk. Which ways the apartment?" The driver pointed up the street with a knowing smirk.

"Walking in this rain? Don't fool me, kid, you're going in there..." Gesturing to the church right next to them. "The look on your face; you're looking for something. And for someone your age you look too troubled for my liking."

Blaine pondered the driver's statement for a few moments, he had to grow up quick - and growing up meant encountering bumps in the road... well now he was encountering mountains.

He leant forward to hand the driver his money and muttered a quick and quiet thank you before jumping out of the car.

The rain was pouring down and soaking through each of his layers, as he wrapped his coat tightly around himself. His whole body was shaking and as much as he would have liked to blame it on the cold he knew that the bitter weather had nothing to do with it.

Blaine took a deep breath in and walked into the church, he hadn't been in one since he was 10. He used to go with his Grandmother and to be honest the only reason he went was to spend time with her. Now he had always been worried as to what people would do if he walked into church. And well, Blaine was surprised he hadn't burst into flames - in the eyes of God he'd committed more than a couple of sins in his short 23 years of life.

Sitting at the back of the building, Blaine made a promise. He'd only ever put his faith in some higher power twice before, the first when he was 10 and his grandmother had gotten sick - well, his grandmother died two days later, making his first doubt that there wasn't a God, someone watching over him.

The second time was when he was pregnant, he prayed for it all to be a joke: some cruel inconsiderate joke. A 17 year old _boy_ couldn't be pregnant. Then Blaine remembered that his life _was_ some cruel joke if there was a higher power out there. He was gay: people hated him for it for no other reason than to just... hate. Then he became pregnant and there was more than a chance that those people who hate him for being gay, would hate his child who'd done nothing wrong.

Now sat in this particular church full of hope and faith Blaine found himself praying for a third time, only this time he wasn't praying for himself nor his Grandmother but for Kurt and his precious little boy he'd do anything for.

"Amen." He whispered, his voice hoarse from weeks of crying and worrying.

As Blaine exited the church he noticed the weather hadn't let up one bit; and he began to walk. Walk to his and the future of his child's.

Blaine was soaked through to his bones but somehow his feet just wouldn't move forward anymore. Here he was standing in the middle of a busy Upper West Side sidewalk looking up at the apartment block straight ahead of him.

_Kurt's_ apartment.

Of course where Kurt lived was impressive from the outside - Kurt had achieved his dream just like Blaine wanted him too. He was 24, living in New York and was playing Rolf in Broadways revival of The Sound of Music... and now Blaine was going to flip Kurt's world on its head.

Blaine finally managed to move his feet and walked up to the buzzer - pressing Kurt's number. Here goes nothing...

_"Hello?" _ The voice sounded exactly the same - clean, fresh, just so Kurt.

"Hi." Blaine knew it sounded strained and barely like him, but he was so beyond afraid.

_"Hey." _Kurt chuckled. _"I don't mean to sound rude but who is this?"_

"Kurt, it's me." He took in a deep breath. "Blaine."

Silence.

"Kurt..?"

_"Oh my - -. Umm, do you want to come up?"_

"Please."

_"O-okay, umm."_ The buzzer noise sounded and the door unlocked, Blaine took his fateful steps through the lobby of the building and slowly up the stairs.

Blaine remembered why he was doing this. He was doing this for his son. His beautiful, innocent, 5 year old, Milo, who needed everything. And one of those things was Kurt.

His Papa.

But then there was the chance that Kurt didn't want to be Milo's Papa... And then there's the chance that Kurt simply wouldn't believe that Milo was his, or that Blaine could get pregnant.

Before he knew it he was at Kurt's door and knocked three times.

The door immediately burst open and before him he saw a surprised and confused Kurt...

But ever as beautiful.

"Blaine, hi. C-come in." He opened the door wide and Blaine walked slowly into the immaculate apartment. His and Cooper's hadn't been immaculate ever, not with a little boy messing up the place. "I'm not going to lie, it's a surprise to see you... A pleasant one."

"You too." Blaine whispered and Kurt looked at him with concern.

"D'you want to sit down? I can get you a drink if you'd like?"

"No, no it's okay, thanks." Blaine sat down on the unbelievably comfy couch and waited for Kurt to join him.

He did.

"So, how are you doing? I haven't seen you for six years." He smiled uncomfortably, that morning is still obviously sore for the both of them.

"I live in LA with Cooper." Blaine mumbled.

"Really? Wow. Are you trying to sing out there or...?" Kurt looked genuinely excited.

"Not really, I was training to be an elementary teacher but things... kinda got in the way." Blaine was intensely focused on his hands fidgeting in his lap.

"Oh... umm... how did you know I lived here?" Kurt asked nervously.

"I'm still in touch with Tina and she talked to Rachel." Here goes nothing. "Kurt, there's a reason I'm here. I need to tell you something."

"Who's died?" Kurt quickly responded.

"No one." Thank God. "But... you're gonna hate me." Blaine whimpered.

"Hate you? Blaine I could - I could never hate you. To be honest I think you should hate me after what I did to you." He said sincerely.

"Don't apologise for that. It got you where you are right? I mean... you're on Broadway." Deep breath. "What I've done, Kurt, it's unforgivable. But I need you to promise me that you'll hear me out, I'm begging you _please_ hear me out before you scream and kick to me to the curb - I know I don't deserve that but... my whole life depends on you hearing me out."

"Blaine... you're scaring me."

"You were in New York and we broke up. I couldn't - I couldn't take that away from you, you _deserved_ that place at NYADA, this life you have now and I would leave you to it if it wasn't for what's going on right now." Tears were threatening to spill over his eyes. "I kept something awful from you and I am so, so _sorry."_

"Blaine... whatever it is just tell me. I can't stand to see you like this..." Kurt tilted Blaine's chin up from looking at his hands and blue and hazel orbs met once again. Kurt realised the flecks of gold that used to make Blaine sparkle were gone, replaced with pain and fear. Blaine felt like he'd gone back in time and he was 17 again - falling in love. _"Please. _It can't be that terrible."

Blaine couldn't even think before he delved into his trouser pocket and brought out his wallet. Opening up the first thing he saw was a picture of him and Milo from a year ago. Blaine knelt by his side kissing him lovingly on the cheek while Milo beamed with his black curly hair and bright blue eyes. Blaine laid the picture on the coffee table in front of them.

"This is Milo." A single tear finally traced his cheek. "Our son."

_And there's chapter one, chapter two will be up by two weeks time._

_Reviews, alerts and favourites are all appreciated. Thanks :)_


	3. Chapter 2

**Again, thank you so much for the response. It makes my day when I wake up in the morning and seeing as many alerts and favourites as I do. The reviews, especially, are so kind so thank you. I know I said two weeks and it's actually only 2 or 3 days - can't remember. But I've been ill so I've found a break from school and revision to write. **

**Because I've been ill, it's definitely not my best work but here we go... chapter 2: enjoy!**

CHAPTER 2

_"This is Milo... Our son."_

Kurt felt sick to his stomach, and confused... God did he feel confused. He slowly leant forwards towards the coffee table and picked up the picture slowly into his hands, as if it were about to disintegrate into a million pieces. Kurt stared at it for what felt like years to Blaine before finally turning to him.

"W-what?" Kurt whispered, a heartbroken expression on his face.

"He's our son, Kurt. Yours and mine." The tears were falling from Blaine's eyes silently down his cheeks. Blaine could see Kurt's breathing becoming faster and more laboured as he took in what he had to say.

"What?" Kurt exploded, leaping up from where he was sat on the couch to look menacingly over Blaine who looked like a three year old getting told off by his parents. "Blaine, are you out of your mind? _Men_ don't have babies - and if this is our _son, _which is beyond a ridiculous accusation, you would have told me! You're Blaine Anderson, you don't lie." Silence while the tears continued to slide down Blaine's face. Suddenly Kurt spoke in a softer tone. "Blaine, are you sick?... Do I need to call, Tina?"

"I'm not sick, Kurt." He whimpered. "I'm telling you the truth."

"The truth? I don't have a son! Boys don't _have_ children!"

Blaine jumped from his seat and snatched the photo that was gradually getting crumpled in Kurt's tight grasp.

"Look at this picture, Kurt!"

"I looked at it!"

"No you didn't, you stared at it, you looked right past it. Look at it, really look at it and see that this little boy is our son." Blaine begged while Kurt just scoffed. Blaine held the picture up directly in Kurt's eye line and Kurt didn't look away. Blaine pointed at Milo's hair. "He has my hair, curly and unruly and it drives him insane but he looks beautiful and cute beyond belief... and his lips, they're full and rosy pink like mine." Blaine takes a step towards Kurt. "His skin, it's the perfect mixture of both of ours -it's like the palest of mocha's... Now try and deny this: look at his nose. Whose is it, Kurt?" Blaine see's tears slowly fill Kurt's eyes. "It's yours. And those eyes... God those eyes, they're the exact same eyes I fell in love with when I was 16, they move from blue to green to grey so gracefully and when I look at him with those eyes he looks so angelic but all is see is you and how I betrayed you. But you have to understand I really thought I was doing what was best - yeah, I'll admit I was scared that you'd run away - but I also knew you wouldn't do that and you'd be a good guy and stay with me and let NYADA and Broadway pass you by. I couldn't let that happen to you... and I couldn't bear to think that you'd blame Milo one day for ruining your dreams."

"I'd like you to leave." Kurt whispered, afraid that if he talked too loudly he burst into tears.

Blaine looked panicked. "No. _Please._ I need your help Kurt, you promised you'd hear me out."

"Hear you out? You just told me I have a son and I don't know what to think. The whole human body is a mystery right now and despite what you just said I still don't know if I believe you!"

"Kurt, you promised. I need your help. _We_ need your help."

"I can't give you money. I'm sorry, I have no money to give you. This place..." Referring to the apartment around him. "It cost me a bomb and my salary from work isn't that big and it basically just about feeds me with all the bills I have to pay."

"I don't want your money." Blaine was crying now and so close to body shattering sobs and so was Kurt.

"Then what do you want from me? I don't understand!" Kurt was hastily pushing Blaine towards the front door now. "I don't get why your saying these things! It doesn't make sense! I - I feel like this some cruel joke because of how I treated back then and I'm sorry Blaine but just, just please leave me alone!" Kurt's tears when streaming down his face and Blaine looked strikingly similar. With one final hard push Kurt shoved Blaine through the now open front door and slammed the door on Blaine's heartbroken face.

Blaine felt like his heart had been torn in two as he stared at the door from the apartment block hallway. All he wanted was Kurt's help. Suddenly Blaine's legs gave out and he slumped next to the wall by the door and gave out a heart wrenching sob and one thing fell over him...

It was all his fault.

##

Kurt stood staring at his door for what seemed like hours and his world felt like it was crashing around him - but he couldn't _feel_ anything. He knew his face was hot from the tears and he _knew_ tears were still continually rolling down his face and he _knew_ his heart ached. He just couldn't feel the heat and pain of it all.

He was numb.

His feet suddenly went charging over to his room to find his laptop resting of his grand king sized bed. He sat down and opened it to find he hadn't turned it off and he was shopping online before Blaine had come to... well whatever he came to do. He opened a new tab and immediately searched up:

_"can men have babies?"_

He felt like an idiot searching this but he just couldn't let this slide. What if Blaine wasn't crazy; what if two men could have baby?

What if Kurt was a father?

The first group of suggestions were 'yahoo answers' and they all had the response.

"Don't be so stupid, of course they can't."

He came across a few religious comments saying that if they could have children homosexuals wouldn't be living in sin - but Kurt's mind just didn't process them.

He clicked the back button numerous times until a website came up and he clicked on it, the title catching his eye immediately.

_**"THE CARRIER GENE: SMALL HOPE FOR GAY COUPLES EVERYWHERE.**_

_Growing up we understand Mommy's have the babies and Daddy's just can't do that - they don't have the right 'bits'. But scientist Dr. Malcolm Isaacs revealed in a scientific journal in 1964 that our understanding of the human reproductive anatomy isn't so black and white - essentially we are taught the right thing at 3 or 4 years old however there are anomalies; times when life just doesn't follow that simple pattern._

_For every male in the human population there is in fact a 1 in 200 chance that you could in fact be able to carry a child after a mutated, recessive gene could be a part of your DNA and therefore this often goes undetected as your body makes no sign to tell you you're able to carry a child. _

_However when this became known to all doctors in 1964 after Isaac's publications, hope everywhere was introduced for gay couples - they may in fact be able to have a child that has the genetics of both parents. A symbol of their love._

_Since then only 1500 children have been born to two male parents in the USA and the father who carried the child is more commonly known as a 'carrier'...__**"**_

Kurt stopped reading. He _had_ stop reading.

He knew it, he felt it in his bones - Blaine wasn't lying. He was a father.

He walked like a zombie back out into the living area of the apartment and collapsed onto the couch, head in his hands. Then he saw the familiar wallet sized picture on the coffee table, Kurt had no idea when Blaine had managed to put it back down but Kurt picked it back up and just like Blaine begged; he really _looked _at it.

Oh God, could he see it now. This was a physical representation of their love they shared over half a decade ago - in a little boy. A _beautiful_ little boy.

_His_ little boy.

Kurt never thought he'd be a father, at least not biologically - he made a pledge to himself as a teenager that if he ever wanted to be a father he'd go through the adoption route, there were so many children who needed so much love.

But here he was... he knew it. He was looking at his DNA.

And then, Kurt started to feel sick yet again.

##

Blaine must have been sobbing for a good thirty minutes, he was struggling to breathe while his heart kept palpitating. Then an all familiar hum came from the end of the hall near the stairwell.

_Rachel Berry._

Blaine looked up as a silhouette of a woman approached him, blissfully happy, going to see her best friend. Then she just stopped, obviously startled by the sobbing figure by her best friends front door. Then Blaine looked up visibly from his head resting on his knees and Rachel immediately registered who this sobbing figure was.

"Blaine?" She sounded confused and worried, no matter what people said about Rachel Berry, she did care. "Oh my God, are you okay? ... What happened? Why are you here? Were you crying?"

"H-h-he hates me." Blaine choked out. "I-I'm an awful person and I'm gonna pay for it, Rachel, and I'll never f-forgive mys-self."

She immediately wrapped him in a bone crushing hug, her chin resting on top of the heartbroken younger boys head.

"It'll be okay." She whispered. "Whatever it was, he was just probably shocked to see you, sweetie. Come on... I'll make him talk to you." She stood up, grasping Blaine's hand to help him up and support his weak legs.

"No. Please don't make me go back in there, I can't listen to him say all those things again..."

"What things, Blaine?"She asked sensitively. Blaine just shook his head with closed eyes as the pain relived itself in his mind. Before Blaine knew what was happening Rachel was knocking of Kurt's door with an immense force.

The door swung open to show a very unkempt and dishevelled Kurt. "What?" He exasperated seeing Rachel's appearance. Rachel, with a furious expression, pulled Blaine from hiding behind the wall into Kurt's doorway.

"He told me to leave." He whimpered to Rachel.

"Look, you two I have absolutely no idea what's going on with you right now but can you please sort it out? Kurt, I love you but I just found Blaine a sobbing mess on the floor so whatever it is, fix it. And Blaine, this is a shock for me - you being here - but think of how much of a shock this is for Kurt. Now, although we had a movie date, I'm going to leave you to it and you're gonna call me later, okay?" And then she just walked away.

"I'll go." Blaine whispered and turned away.

"Blaine, wait! ..." He turned around but didn't walk back towards him. "I believe you." He breathed.

"What? ... Y-you believe me?" He walked slowly towards Kurt and Kurt quickly motioned for him to come inside yet again. Blaine stared at Kurt waiting for screaming, laughing, anything but it just didn't come.

"I believe you, yes... I, ermm, I looked up male pregnancy and..." His voice faded out.

"Are you mad at me?" Blaine whispered.

"Of course I'm mad at you, Blaine. You kept the fact I have a child from me... I'm furious - I just... I don't have the energy to scream at you. My head, it's consumed with him."

"Milo?"

"Yeah, Milo."

Silence.

"He really is a mixture of both of us." Kurt tried to make small talk but all he got back from Blaine was a small nod. "His hair really is you all over." He awkwardly chuckled. Blaine tried to smile but Kurt detected the pain in his eyes and the cough trying to cover up his emotion and suddenly he started crying all over again. Kurt immediately was at his side guiding him to the couch. "Shh... Blaine, it's okay. I'm not screaming am I?"

"I'm just so sorry, Kurt." He hiccupped.

"Hey... Look I'm not going to lie and say I'm okay with this, you kept something huge from me: but if it's okay with you I'd like to meet him?... Is he in New York?"

"No. He's with Cooper."

"Okay... well maybe they could fly out together and I can see those cute curls?"

"No... Kurt, you don't understand, he can't fly out here. And... and you won't see his hair." A tear fell from Blaine's eye.

"What?" Kurt stiffened.

"The reason I told you, Kurt. It wasn't for money... it, it was so that you could help us."

"Blaine, you've already said that... what do you need my help with?"

"You're Milo's Papa and you've saved him once already." Kurt was about to butt in but Blaine carried on. "I went to have an abortion... They - They put the thing in and, God, it was so close to just making Milo disappear and my phone rang. It was you. I just screamed at the woman to stop and begged for her to tell me that she hadn't hurt my baby and... well obviously she hadn't. I saw that phone call as a sign that I could do this, I could be a daddy to this child and every day I've thanked you so much - so much for that pocket dial ... and now I need you to stop my baby boy from disappearing again."

"Blaine, I don't understand?"

"Kurt, Milo's dying... H-he has Leukaemia."

##

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, like I said I've been ill so I'm not particularly happy with this - it felt a bit repetitive in places. **

**Please review if you want and enjoyed it or have any constructive criticism which is also greatly appreciated. Thank you.**

**(see you by 2 weeks time - could be any day up to the 18th) **


	4. Chapter 3

**Firstly: thank you so much for the feedback on the last chapter, I'm literally astounded by your guys kindness. Next: Okay, so I'm worried this chapter might be a bit boring for you after the last one, it's a bit of a filler with A LOT of big paragraphs of speech with Blaine telling Kurt Milo's story. **

**I've researched Milo's condition, like the good writer should, however I'm not particularly good at science but I've given it ago. Sorry if it's not 100% accurate for anyone. I am only 16.**

**But here we go: hope you enjoy!**

##

CHAPTER 3

Leukaemia. The word run in his head. Leukaemia. Leukaemia.

"My baby's dying, Kurt, and I can't help him... It's - It kills me." Blaine sobbed.

Kurt just stared straight forward - in a breath he found out he was a father and then in another he found out it could all just be taken away from him again. He didn't know what to think.

Blaine continued. "The first time I held him in my arms, he was so tiny. 7lbs exactly, 19 inches long, I had no idea what I was going to do - how I was going to bring up this beautiful baby in the way he deserved. I remember holding him a couple of hours after he was born and just thinking how was an 18 year old boy supposed to be everything his son needed? ... But, y'know what? We learnt together and we got good at it. Milo he's... he's my absolute everything, and if you want to help us, he'll help you through this the way he's helped me. He's 5 years old and he somehow just gets on with it, all the pain and sickness and fear, _he_ manages to cope with it and that's what keeps me together when all I want to do is scream. He's got a beautiful, amazing heart and unbelievably he's still got all the innocence a 5 year old child should have despite everything." Kurt could feel how proud Blaine was of Milo just from the way he spoke: pure, unadulterated love.

"He gets it from you..." Kurt whimpered.

"What?" Blaine hiccupped.

"The amazing heart... When we were in high school you had the purest heart I ever thought I'd come across."

"You thought?"

"Blaine... don't lie to me, you're only telling me about Milo because you're desperate, I don't blame you, but for five years he's been without me and I feel like it's some kind of cruel revenge for what I did to you."

"I swear, it wasn't." Kurt just nodded plainly.

"He's dying." Kurt muttered under his breath after a stunned silence.

"Well... we're trying everything we can to stop that from happening but... it's not easy."

"What about chemo?" Kurt inquired, glancing straight into Blaine's eyes.

"It worked at first." A pregnant pause filled the air. "Just after his third birthday he was diagnosed with something called AML, Acute Myeloid Leukaemia, it basically means the bone marrow makes tonnes of white blood cells but doesn't mature them or specialise them so they start to... clog it up. It's worse than, ALL, which is the more common form of childhood leukaemia and... God... it got bad _really_ quickly. It just felt like he was sick y'know? Kids get sick. I thought because he just started pre-school he was gonna get a couple of bugs eventually - he hadn't had much contact with other kids and... I just expected him to get colds and flu bugs... but he just got them constantly. He was tired, I put it down to him working hard at pre-school." He bitterly laughed at himself. "Then I realised he was getting breathless just walking up the stairs and one night, I remember so vividly: I was putting him into his Lightning McQueen pyjamas and I pulled his t-shirt off him while he was sat on his bed just talking away about how Cooper promised to take him to the park tomorrow once he picked him up from his morning session there and... there were bruises on his back." Blaine shuddered at the memory. "They were purple and blue and they looked so painful and my head went straight to some kids picking on him - I asked him right out where he got these bruises from and he said 'what bruises?'. _That's_ when I knew something was wrong, that's when I _finally_ decided to take my baby to the doctor."

Kurt moved closer to Blaine on the couch and placed a comforting arm across his shoulders. "What did they say?" Kurt already knew the answer.

"They took blood work and five days later I was called back in _without_ Milo - I knew straight away, I could feel it in my heart, my little boy was seriously ill and my whole world just crumbled. I let out the most earth-shattering sob and my heart just fell straight into the pit of my stomach - my whole body went numb and the first thing I thought of was 'How the hell did I not know sooner? Am I really that stupid?'" Blaine stifled a sob.

"It's not your fault, Blaine." Kurt whispered reassuringly but Blaine was too far gone.

"It felt like it was. Cooper came to pick me up and I had to tell him that the Milo, who we'd be raising together for the last three years, was sick. Everything went so quickly: the next day he was in hospital getting all these tests done and then he went on to chemo. He had a few cycles, it killed me to watch him vomit and get diarrhoea and lose his hair and look so helpless but after watching all that I had to explain to my _three year old_ that it was gonna make him better. And it did."

Kurt was holding on to Blaine's every word like it was his lifeline - he felt like he was having the most traumatic experience of his life.

"He was better by his 4th birthday and my life felt like it had meaning again - I wasn't gonna lose Milo and he was healthy; he was in remission... Well, it lasted nine months." Blaine said bitterly. "He's five and a half now so you can probably guess they put him straight back onto chemotherapy. Except this time he knew what chemo meant, he was 4 and he understood that chemo would make him feel absolutely terrible and would make the hair he so happily was watching grow back, fall out again. He was having cycles up until November when he was 5, when the doctors pulled me and Cooper into their office one day when Milo just wouldn't _stop_throwing up and I thought it would be just another consultation. Turns out they said the chemo wasn't working this time and the only was Milo would survive would be with a bone marrow transplant or stem cell transplantation as they like to call it now. They kept him on the chemo to prolong his life but I had to get tested straight away.

"Cooper and I, we were getting tested within the next couple of hours - they basically just take blood. I felt like as his dad I was bound to be what Milo needed or at least Cooper would be a match. Two days later I found out that I had failed my baby again and Cooper wasn't a match either."

Kurt interrupted. "You are _not_ a failure, Blaine Anderson. You don't hold the key to genetics - it's not your fault that you nor Cooper were a match."

Blaine nodded dully clearly not believing him. "My parents flew out from Ohio, they'd been surprisingly great about everything: getting pregnant, going to LA and one or both of them would fly out every couple of months to see Milo whether he was at hospital or at home. Anyways, they flew out and got tested as well: doctors said not to get my hopes up as there's a tiniest chance that they'd be a donor because a parent even being a donor's small but I went and got my hopes up. Believed that my mom or dad were just... going to make Milo my bouncing baby boy again. I think I cried for 24 hours nonstop after they came back negative.

"The doctors called me in again and said that Milo had been put on the National Bone Marrow register but they told me. Oh God... they told me finding a match was going to be seriously difficult because... because my mom's Filipino and therefore Milo's slightly mixed-race and that gives him a rare genetic tissue code. They said I should probably prepare myself for the worst."

Blaine then finally let go, all the pain and fear holed up in that story finally let out in a heartbreaking cry for help. Kurt's heart had been shredding the whole way through Blaine's story but that noise Blaine made basically felt like his heart had been put in a blender and dropped to the pit of his stomach.

"Hey, hey, shhh... Shhh, Blaine. We're gonna fix this, okay? We're not gonna let Milo die."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Kurt." He breathlessly spoke.

Kurt ignored Blaine's comment and inquired comfortingly. "You want me to get tested, right?"

"It would mean everything to me... Some nights I just hold him in my arms and I beg him to fight, I know it's selfish but I'm not ready to let him go yet, Kurt. If there's any chance at all that you or anyone could be a match then I'm going to hunt down every last person and make them get tested."

"I know." Kurt soothed. Truth is Kurt's petrified. It was hard enough hearing that he was a father and that that child he'd help create was 5 years old already but he'd been told that that little boy's whole life depended on his genetic make-up; something he couldn't even control. Also, the man who'd kept the fact he was a father from him he couldn't even get mad at because... well plainly put: you can't get mad at someone whose basically holding it together by just a thread.

"The doctors back in LA say you can get tested here and if you're a match, you can get your treatment done at home and they'll fly it over to LA." Blaine tried to remain composed but it just came out as him gasping for air.

"No."

The look on Blaine's face nearly set Kurt over the edge into a sobbing mess too. He looked so broken and beyond repair, like all the life had just been sucked out of him in one simple word.

"W-what - -?"

"No because I want to meet him. I want to get all my tests done in LA and I want to meet Milo... I mean, I don't know what to feel: I'm angry that you've kept him from me for so long. And I'm sad that he's so sick and I wasn't able to be there. But also a part of me is breaking apart because in one breath I found out that I have a son and in the next breath you tell me that he could be taken away from me. That before I even have the chance to be a father to him he could die... I mean, how's that fair?"

"None of it's fair, Kurt." Blaine suddenly jumped up from the couch and started pacing. "None of it is God damn fair!" He seethed. Kurt jumped up straight next to him and pulled his hands into his own. "He's so perfect and the world has to just screw him over!"

It killed Kurt to see Blaine this way... so mind numbingly broken. Like the world had chewed him up and spat him back out again.

"I know but Blaine I promi - -." Suddenly an old-school ringing tone came from Blaine's pocket and he immediately dragged out his iPhone.

Trying to compose himself, Blaine already prepared himself to answer the phone. "It's Cooper, I have to take it." Kurt just nodded and watched Blaine pace while bringing the phone to his ear.

"Coop, hey, what is it? Is Milo okay?" Blaine rushed obviously visibly panicked as to why his brother was calling him.

_"No, Daddy, it's me."_ Came Milo's all familiar voice to Blaine's ears, he was shouting, still not quite grasping that you didn't have to scream down a phone to be heard.

"Hey, Mi. This is a nice surprise." Blaine perked up considerably when hearing his son on the side of the phone. Kurt suddenly realising that Milo must be on the other side was hanging onto every word and movement Blaine made.

_"Did you get the message Uncle Coop sent you?"_

"I sure did, highlight of my day, baby."

_"I had my Woody's hat on. If Uncle Cooper told me I would have asked the nurse to put my special pirate bandana around my head, the one you got me."_

"Well I thought you looked mighty cool with your cowboy hat on... Buddy, is Uncle Cooper with you?"

_"Yeah, but he's sleepin'. He thinks I'm sleeping but I'm not. I'm awake so I asked Nurse Daisy to let me call you."_

"You're awake, really? I never would have guessed." Blaine humoured his little boy and Kurt held onto that, despite everything Blaine was determined to put on a happy bravado around Milo.

_"Mmhmm."_ Milo sang through the phone. _"My tummy's making rumbly dinosaur noises - like hungry noises." _

This news obviously saddened Blaine. He hung on to the days when Milo had an appetite, the chemo made him refuse all food and the food he managed to make him eat would come back up within an hour. Well the reason he was back in hospital was for his next round of chemo and this would probably be the last time he'd want to eat anything for a while.

"How about you go pinch Uncle Cooper awake and tell him Daddy said you can eat anything you want, okay?"

_"Okay, daddy, don't forget to get me a present. You promised."_ And suddenly the phone went dead and a long beep echoed through it. Milo still hadn't mastered the art of wrapping up conversations.

Blaine just stared at the phone in his hand and Kurt spoke.

"Milo?" He whispered and Blaine nodded.

"He actually sounded really well for once and... and it's not gonna last because this is his last cycle of chemo and each day he's deteriorating more and more." Blaine sighed.

"Well then let's get going."

"What?"

"I'm going to go into my room and pack, you're gonna get online on my laptop and book us onto the next flight available to LA, hopefully it shouldn't be too much of a wait." Kurt rallied of his instructions in one swift swoop.

"You're really gonna help me? After everything I've done?"

"Water under the bridge, Blaine. I want to meet my son."

##

**There we have it, chapter 3. I hope it was okay for everyone, it was the hardest one to write so far if that means anything to you. **

**Please review if you want and enjoyed it or have any constructive criticism which is also greatly appreciated. Thank you.**

**(Don't expect a particularly swift update within the next few days as I'm super busy with school and revision but hopefully this weekend or the next.)**


	5. Chapter 4

**And the most awful writer of the year goes to... me. So sorry it took me so long to update, I promise two weeks and I give you just over a month - that's not acceptable and I know it. I literally just got completely consumed with my 13 exams and was having a break down every other night. Anyways I've finished school now until September, woo! But anyways thank you for the alerts, favourites and reviews and if you're still here I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

CHAPTER 4

Kurt was sat in an uncomfortable plane seat squashed between the window and Blaine. Being this close to each other felt awkward, neither of them knew where they stood with the other.

Kurt looked over to Blaine and noticed him looking down and fiddling with a small 'I LOVE NY' t-shirt in his hands - from this Kurt instantly knew Blaine was nervous and scared. He had every right to be of course, but wasn't it Kurt who in a number of hours would meet his seriously ill son for the first time? Wasn't it Kurt who was the last hope for Blaine and his precious 5 year old son?

Kurt was literally this child's lifeline...  
And it wasn't even in his control if he does or does not have the ability to keep this little boy alive.

This little boy who was _his_ little boy.

That fact just kept racing through his mind, he was a father. The thought that there was someone out there with a beautiful mixture of his and Blaine's DNA would have made 17 year old Kurt's life - now it just scared him.

And also Milo was 5 years old, his son, and he knew absolutely nothing about his personality. Kurt was too worried to ask Blaine - that it would in some way upset or offend him.

"I hope he likes the t-shirt." Blaine mumbled. Kurt looked over to him inquisitively. "I bet he was expecting the real Statue Of Liberty or something."

"I'm sure he'll like it." In truth Kurt had no idea but Blaine just looked so broken and fragile, like he needed any reassurance there was to offer.

"Look at you, Kurt, you know Milo better than I do and I've kept him from you... I just - It kills me, Kurt, it kills me that something's killing him." He whispered as if it were the biggest secret he'd ever told.

"And that's okay. You're his daddy, you're allowed to be scared, Blaine... I promised you I'm going to try and help, right? Well I am. You can count on me. _Milo_ can count on me."

"Kurt, do you... do you mind if when you meet Milo at the hospital, we don't tell him you're his papa straight away - I think, I think it would just confuse him and he's gonna be really sick because of the new chemo cycle and it might be a too much handle at this moment in time." Kurt's just stared at Blaine taking in what he had said. "But of course if you want him to know who you are straight away I'm sure - -"

Blaine started speaking at a thousand words a minute after Kurt's shifty reaction.

"No, no Blaine, it's fine. I understand - I should probably find a hotel or some place to stay when we get there anyway."

Blaine spoke hesitantly. "You could stay at mine and Cooper's? I mean, I'll be spending the night with Milo but..."

"No, I'll find a place... But thanks." The small talk ended. Just 5 and a half hours to go.

The plane ride was full of tension and an unbearable silence. Blaine fell asleep about half way through and Kurt stared at him. Not in a freaky "you pulled this bombshell on me, you're gonna pay" way but a more "I can't believe how much has changed, I can't believe I have a child with Blaine."

Blaine woke up as the decent to land began and before he knew it Kurt was stepping onto the east coast.

The first thing Kurt noticed about Blaine as they entered the terminal to go through passport control and collect their luggage was that literally as soon as he saw a sign telling him he was now able to turn his phone back on he did, and he kept checking it for the next 30 minutes to see if any texts or voice mails came through about Milo's condition while they were flying.

Kurt hadn't seen someone so desperate to know information since his mother's accident and he has the vaguest, yet most painful memory, of his dad begging a woman at the nurses' station to give some kind of help to him on his wife's condition - everyone knows how that ended.

Kurt's bag came through the reclaim conveyor belt almost instantly yet Blaine's was yet to be in sight.

"Hey Blaine, I'm just heading over to tourist information to see if I can get a place to stay, you alright here?"

"Yeah sure." The sides of his mouth tried to curve into a small smile but all I could see was worry behind his hazel orbs.

##

The tourist information woman, as well as selling Kurt a truly overpriced hotel room for a week stay (he assumed he'd just extend it nearer the time), decided to keep him cornered with 'special offers' (which he was sure was over the RRP) about the best water parks and open top bus tours around Hollywood. Finally he managed to pull himself away and began to walk back to the luggage conveyor belt before noticing another flights bags were now circling. He looked around the extremely large room before finding Blaine - slowly pacing in a small area listening intently to his phone.

As Kurt approached him he heard the rapid speed of Blaine's conversation.

"Look, I'm just waiting for Kurt then I'm gonna pick up the car and take him wherever he's staying and I'll be back before you know it." - "Coop, I know okay? I know Milo must feel so ill right now but what can I do, I'll break every damn speed limit to get there quick but I can't just abandon Kurt at the airport after everything I've done." - "I'm done Coop, tell Milo I love him and I'll be there as soon as possible. Remember if he's feeling horrible but doesn't have anything to throw up anymore take him into your lap, cover him in a blanket and rock him either singing or reading to him, it should settle him to sleep." - "Okay, see you soon."

Blaine let out the most almighty sigh as he hung up the phone before looking up and seeing Kurt right in front of him, before Blaine said anything Kurt jumped in.

"Milo's not feeling too good?" Kurt said visibly worried and saddened.

"No. H-he won't stop throwing up. Cooper's said he's crying for me." Tears welled up in Blaine's eyes.

"Okay, um, you get going to the hospital and I'll see if I can sort out some kind of car rental for me."

"Kurt, I can't ask you to do that."

"Shush, Blaine. Go be with Milo." Kurt said assertively before looking afraid of Blaine's reaction to his next question. "Would it be okay if I stopped by the hospital sometime?"

"Yeah sure, it's the only specific children's hospital in LA so you could probably get directions on the internet."

"Great. Thanks Blaine." There was an awkward still between them before the two men dispersed, Blaine towards the exit and Kurt back over to the row of shop booths looking for a car rental.

##

Blaine paced walk down the halls of the hospital with the weirdest feeling in his gut, of course he didn't want to see his precious little boy so sick he couldn't keep anything down but he was so apprehensive to see him after missing him the last 2 days.

As he approached the nurses' station of Milo's particular ward he was greeted by the friendliest, and Milo's favourite nurse, Daisy.

"Mr Anderson, it's good to see you, I hope your trip was everything you wanted it to be."

"Daisy, seriously, how many times? You can call me Blaine - we're the same age and I like to think we're kind of friends." It was the first time he'd felt his high school charm in a long time.

"Sorry, Blaine. Milo's in his usual room after chemo with Cooper, his side effects have been stronger this time around unfortunately, he was complaining of muscle and bone ache so we've given him a painkiller, that knocked him out pretty much after your phone call with your brother but he woke up 30 minutes later in a fever and has been complaining of the feeling of intense sickness since."

Blaine ran his hands through his hair at the sound of the amount of pain his 5 year old was in. "Can I go straight down?"

"Of course." Daisy smiled weakly. " Just sign in on the sheet at the end of the desk and you're good to go see him. Remember to use the anti-bacterial wash please."

Like he would forget, Blaine thought bitterly before chastising himself knowing that Daisy wasn't insulting his care for his son, just simply doing her job.

Once again, Blaine paced walk down yet another hallway almost on autopilot searching for Milo's room; when Blaine got there and had sterilised his hands he really looked through the window in the door, tears immediately welled up in his eyes and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He slowly opened the door revealing a very sick Milo, dry-heaving into an all familiar cardboard blended disposable bowl at the end of the bed while his brother looked almost just as tired as his son, sat closely and supportively behind him rubbing his back in soothing motions while whispering sounds of "you're okay" to his nephew.

Cooper simply looked up from Milo to Blaine and a heartbreakingly sad smile graced his face. Milo didn't even look up, too involved in the feeling of being so unbelievably ill. Blaine once again ran his fingers through his un-gelled hair before slowly striding to kneel down in front of his son.

"Hey baby." Blaine whispered while stroking Milo's hairless head.

"Daddy." Milo whimpered without looking up and began dry-heaving all over again. Tears were running freely down his dull grey skin from the illness.

"Oh, Milo." Blaine whispered before getting up and sitting next to Milo at the head of the bed and immediately taking him in his arms as guilt washed over him. "I'm so sorry, buddy, I should have been here with you and be looking after you... It's okay, it's all gonna be okay, you're gonna feel better soon and we can go to Disneyland like you always wanted and..."

"...and go take a trip to see grandma and grandpa in Ohio because they have the coolest and biggest house ever." Milo whispered exhaustedly, hearing that speech for the millionth time.

Cooper lightly laughed. "With really funny baby pictures of Daddy."

"And you Uncle Cooper, you're the funniest." He sniffled.

"Oh, Milo you bruise me deep!" Cooper overacted, emitting a very light laugh from the five year old.

Milo curled up into Blaine's embrace as Blaine laid a kiss to his forehead. "I missed you, Daddy."

"Oh baby, I'm missed you too, so much." Before Blaine knew it Milo's breathing slowed and evened out with him looking so peaceful in his slumber - Blaine didn't take his eyes of him for the next hour and instead just held his son, never wanting to let him go.

##

All Blaine did was get up to get a coffee but when he got back his son was lying in his hospital bed whimpering and visibly crying. He quickly discarded the coffee on the table next to the entrance to the room and rushed over to Milo.

"Milo, buddy, what's up, huh?" He asked with pure worry.

"I woked up and you weren't here and I didn't know where you went and everything hurts a lot."

"Okay, okay." Blaine soothed before moving from his spot crouched next to Milo and his bed.

"No, Daddy, where are you going?" Milo shrilled loudly.

"Hey, Mi, it's okay - I'm just leaning over to touch the button that will bring in a nurse and make everything stop hurting. I'm not going anywhere." It broke Blaine's heart to see his son so worked up about him leaving him, of course it was his own fault leaving to go find Kurt but he couldn't bear to think he caused his son that much emotional pain when he already has plenty enough of it as it is. "D'you want a cuddle, buddy?"

Milo merely nodded as Blaine grabbed his frail son very carefully under the arms and lifted him, walking across over to the sofa and into his lap. "Blanket?" Milo whispered and Blaine lent across to the end of the sofa before wrapping the Toy Story blanket over himself and mostly Milo.

Blaine almost swaddled Milo as if he were a tiny baby again and began to rock him, singing subtly under his breath "This Little Light Of Mine." to him.

Once again Milo fell into a weak sleep and a faint knock on the door was heard. Blaine immediately called the person in, presuming it was the nurse he'd called.

But as he looked up he was graced by the face of Kurt Hummel, whose face was one of complete awe and disbelief.

"Hi." Blaine whispered.

"H-hey." Kurt stumbled over his word, consumed with his very first sight of his 5 year old son.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and again sorry for the wait. Now I'm on holidays hopefully I'll be updating a lot more often. I'm going to try and promise you an update before next Monday when I go to Paris for 5 days with my friends but I have prom Thursday and work all day Sunday, but fingers crossed.**

**Please review/alert/favourite/whatever, it means so much. Thanks x**


	6. Chapter 5

**If anybody's still reading this, I'm so sorry. I really have no excuse. I'm giving every single one of you the possibility to punch me in cyber space.**

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CHAPTER 5

"Hi." Blaine whispered.

"H-hey." Kurt stumbled over his word, consumed with his very first sight of his 5 year old son.

A silence set between the pair: Blaine staring at Kurt, Kurt looking at Milo in complete awe and Milo sleeping peacefully cuddled in Blaine's embrace. After what felt like hours to Blaine the silence was broken with Cooper coming into the room.

"Blaine, I just got off the phone with mom and - - " Cooper stopped immediately when he saw Kurt standing directly opposite his brother and nephew. "Kurt." He said in disbelief. "You're here."

"Yeah." Kurt whispered nervously towards Cooper, scared to see if the older man was about to start screaming at him for not being there for his baby brother all these years.

"Umm, Cooper, I'll talk to you about mom later?" Cooper got what Blaine meant immediately and made an excuse to leave.

"I'm just gonna head back to the apartment and get you some clothes and stuff, you smell like aeroplane." Blaine nodded simply as a thanks before Cooper left as quickly as he arrived.

"I didn't think you'd be here until tomorrow." Blaine inquired

"I got settled at the hotel pretty quick." Kurt said shyly.

"Did the nurse at the desk give you any trouble or...?" Blaine knew he was making pathetic small talk but just what were they to talk about?

"No. No it was all fine - apparently it's public visitation hours anyway."

This hit Blaine deep. Kurt shouldn't be classed as just a friend coming to visit Milo during visitation hours - he should be allowed in at all times of the day or night, like him. Of course Blaine knew that it was all his fault Kurt couldn't do that but... it just felt wrong. Even though he hasn't been around, he was always Milo's Papa.

A weak sound broke Blaine from his thoughts. "Daddy."

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat, the person in Blaine's arms was faced towards his chest swaddled in what could only appear to look like a Toy Story blanket - all Kurt could see was a part of the small naked head nestled near Blaine's armpit.

But that voice, oh god, that voice. Kurt felt an emotion he'd never felt before - pure, unadulterated love. Different from anything else: ever.

"Hey, baby, how're you feeling?" The sound of Blaine's voice was nothing like Kurt had ever heard, sure Blaine had always been kind and compassionate but this was a whole other field. He sounded sweet, nurturing but most of all... like _his_ own father whenever Kurt was being reassured or felt vulnerable and Super-Dad would come to the rescue.

"Achy." The bundle in Blaine's arms murmured.

"I know, the nurse will be in soon." Blaine soothed while rubbing Milo's back in circular motions. "Do feel like you're going to be sick?" A shake of the back of the naked head was seen by Kurt. "Do you need the toilet?" Another shake. "Okay then, is there anything you want?"

"I want to go home." Milo whimpered. This statement made Kurt's swelled heart sink to the pit of his stomach - this little boy was so normal, so innocent yet so, so, broken.

"You know the rules, Mi, we have to be here for another 4 days and then we can go home but I promise we can watch any movies or play any games you want here okay?" Blaine soothed.

The bundle in Blaine's arms then moved from his cave he's created from curling into Blaine's body and weakly lifted his head and shifted his body to look up at his dad rather than mumbling into his chest.

"But Daddy, ..." Milo stopped suddenly and turned his head towards Kurt, obviously seeing him in the corner of his eye. Milo stared at Kurt, eyes wide and intrigued.

Yet again Kurt just stood in silence, this little boy in from of him had lost what he could remember, from Blaine's wallet picture, to be lustrous, black curls on the top of his head, his skin instead of that palest of mocha's he imagined was now a dull grey due to his extensive treatment and those full, rose pink lips he's inherited from his Daddy were chapped and sore looking. But his eyes, were exactly like his mother's and his own, just like Blaine had described to him, and they were full of innocence, wonder and interest.

All these things together made Milo beautiful.

Made _his son_ beautiful.

At this point Milo did possibly the cutest thing Kurt had ever seen, he slowly turned back to Blaine, cupped his tiny hands around his mouth and lent towards his daddy's ear.

"Daddy, whose that?"

Blaine looked surprisingly taken aback by the question and panic flickered behind his eyes. "Just a friend of Daddy's, Mi, but he really wants to meet and get to know you." He paused for some sort of vocal reaction from Milo but instead Milo remained intently involved it what only his dad had to say. "His name's Kurt and I've known him since high school; Uncle Cooper's shown you the pictures of me in my uniform right?" Milo nodded sweetly. "Yeah, that one is where we first became friends."

Kurt tried to compose himself before taking a nervous step towards his son and father of his child and sat at the complete other end of the sofa, on the very edge of the seat.

"Hi Milo, it's -umm- it's really nice to meet you."

Kurt felt stupid. The first word's he said to his son was a casual greeting you'd give to a friend of a friend - not someone who you created and should love unconditionally and forever.

But then again... Milo didn't know that.

"Hi." He whispered shyly

"I like your blanket ... I bet it's your favourite, right?"

Milo nodded with the cutest tiny, smile playing on his lips. "It's Toy Story." He whispered.

"I can see that; Buzz is the best character."

"Nuh-uh. It's Woody, right Daddy?" Milo looked up at Blaine with the widest eyes imaginable.

"Sure is, baby." Blaine smiled softly as he pulled Milo close to his chest, his cheek resting on his little boys head while thankful tears filled his eyes as he looked directly at Kurt.

What felt like minutes flew past when it was in fact two blissful hours of Milo and Kurt talking and laughing as Blaine just sat back and watched with the feeling of utter happiness and contentment he'd never once experienced so wholly before.

"Excuse me, Blaine?" Blaine just about managed to tear away his eyes from two beautiful boys, only to look up and find Nurse Daisy peaking her head through the door. "Visiting hours are over now, your friend's going to have to leave, I'm afraid."

"Oh, um, sure but I was just wondering if Dr. Roberts was about for a quick consultation - I'd prefer it if my friend, Kurt, would be able to join me too."

"I think he's currently doing rounds." She pondered before whispering; "I'm guessing you'll want to be without Milo for it?" Blaine quickly nodded. "I'll just go find him see if he's got a free ten minutes spare for you soon, okay?"

"Thank you so much, Daisy."

"No problem, sweetie, I'll be right back."

Meanwhile, Kurt was thoroughly engrossed with Milo, and honestly he'd never felt so at ease. Despite the boy being clearly very sick, Kurt had never seen a little person so pure and beautiful. Every few minutes his heart would constrict with the overwhelming notion that he made this human being, that Blaine had obviously raised him incredibly well in his short five years and that he's missed out on that precious period of Milo being a baby he'll never get back, him being a father to a newborn , his father being a grandpa...

Oh, God, what will his dad say?..

"Blaine? ... Dr. Roberts said he'll be free in fifteen minutes so he said if Milo's feeling up to it you can take him down to the playroom and he'll meet you down there?"

"Sounds perfect, thank you." Blaine gratefully responded before turning back to Milo. "Baby, how're you feeling?" Feeling his sons forehead.

"Better, daddy." He grinned.

Blaine playfully grinned back "Better enough to go down to the playroom for a bit?" Milo nodded enthusiastically and Kurt laughed lightly at the pure glint of excitement that shone in Milo's eyes.

* * *

Walking into the playroom of the hospital made Kurt feel sick. It was the strangest experience he'd ever encountered. Children from all across the paediatric ward had come together in this one room to do what children should do... play. And don't get Kurt wrong seeing kids play is lovely and innocent - but when they have an IV drip to carry with them as they walk over to the giant jenga set, or when you see the sadness and longing from the child in the wheelchair who just wants to walk. That's not playing.

That's not a childhood.

One of the employees at the hospital came over as soon as Kurt, Blaine and Milo entered the room and smiled before leading Milo away to play with the lego and a man in a white lab coat, who Kurt presumed to be the Dr. Roberts Blaine kept mentioning, was quickly shaking Blaine's hand.

"Mr Anderson, good to see you back from your trip, if you'd like to follow me down to my office." Dr Roberts was a very tall man, with greying black hair and crinkles around his eyes.

* * *

The office was exactly how'd you imagine a doctor's office to be, mostly cream with brown furniture and an extremely large mahogany desk. As all three men in the room took a seat, Blaine began.

"Thank you so much for making this time available for us, Doctor, but I feel this to be very important for Milo's recovery." The Doctor simply nodded with a slight frown, intrigued by what was to follow. "This is Kurt Hummel, Milo's other father." The Doctor once again nodded but with a small smile of hope on his lips.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr Hummel." Doctor Roberts spoke with complete authority as he lent over the desk to shake Kurt's hand.

"You too." Kurt said simply.

"So I'm gathering this means you'd like to be tested as soon as possible to see if you're a `donor match for your son?"

_Your son._ This was still very fresh for Kurt, that phrase only making the last couple of days so very real.

"Absolutely, I may of only known about Milo for a recent amount of time but that does not take away from the fact that he's very ill and, at the end of the day, my son and if there's anything I can do I want it to be organised and sorted as soon as you can."

All Blaine could think now there was hope, there was hope for his little boy - not just in his health. But in having two completely loving and devoted parents.

* * *

Walking back into the playroom Blaine couldn't help but notice Milo was sat all alone colouring on a small table, he slowly approached his son with his heart in his stomach.

"Hey baby." He said softly trying not to scare his son from his trance as he crouched down next to him. "You okay?" Blaine could feel Kurt's presence standing over his shoulder watching the exchange.

Milo shook his head slowly before lifting his head. "Bobby's not here."

Blaine felt his stomach clench. "Oh, Mi, I'm sorry." He whispered before silence fell upon the three of them.

"I need the toilet." Milo spoke, just as a nurse walked past.

"I'll take him." She said brightly, noticing Blaine's down demeanour and the unknown man stood next to him.

Kurt couldn't help but see the tears building up in Blaine's eyes as he stood up and watched his son walk away to the bathroom. Panic raced through Kurt.

"Blaine, are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay, Kurt." He snapped, emotion clear in his voice. An awkward silence filled the air before Kurt tried to break it.

"Is Bobby Milo's friend?"

"Mmmhm." Blaine hummed in approval - choking up at the thought.

Another silence.

"How am I supposed to explain to my 5 year old that his best friend has gone home to die?"

And in that moment Kurt finally understood the severity of the situation.

* * *

**Like I said I'm really sorry, and I really appreciate it if you're still here. I'm really hoping a new chapter will be up soon but we all know what I'm like. Fingers crossed.**

**Alerts/Reviews (good or constructive) always strongly appreciated x**


	7. Chapter 6

**Oh look accidental hiatus.**

**Sorry Sorry Sorry. Hate me + everything else.**

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CHAPTER 6

"How am I supposed to explain to my 5 year old that his best friend has gone home to die?"

While Kurt contemplated the severity of the situation, it all became too much for Blaine - he brought his hand up to his mouth and choked back a sob before quickly pacing out of the playroom into the quiet hall - Kurt quick on his heels.

"Blaine... Blaine, stop." Kurt begged. "Blaine, where are you going?" He called as the dark haired man finally turned around with tears streaming down his cheeks, standing still - the gap between them felt like an eternity .

"A six year old boy has gone home to die, Kurt."

"I know." Kurt whispered.

"No." Blaine snapped as he walked towards Kurt. "No you don't - you don't know what it feels like to hear doctors go on and on about how these kids are progressing, that their treatment's looking promising and everything just might be okay. Then you're reminded. You're told that they've done everything they can and now you just have to sit there and watch and wait for a miracle because there's nothing more doctors can do! Doctors lie, Kurt. And every day, I find myself losing faith in doctors and in myself. Doctors lie and give you hope. But it all ends the same. People die of what's happening here... Bobby has gone home to die... How long until it's my baby?" Blaine's heart was breaking, tears were silently pouring from his pleading eyes.

"That won't happen to Milo." Kurt said. The words were him trying to reassure Blaine, the way he said it was him trying to reassure himself.

"Kurt, you've been here a day - what do you know?" Blaine said a little viciously.

Kurt scoffed in disbelief. "Yeah, okay I've only been here a day but that's _not_ my fault."

"Please... like you would have given up New York for me." He whispered with venom laced in his words.

"You seriously think that, Blaine? Seriously?!" Kurt got no response but Blaine looking down at his feet. "Yeah, I would have been shocked and probably a little bit mad; but have you forgotten, Blaine? I grew up without my mom, do you really think I'd put my _own_ child through having to live without one of their parents?! Did you think that little of me." The last line was of pure heartbreak. This was Blaine. Kurt's gorgeous, first love: Blaine - and the idea that he thought he'd just walk away without a second thought killed Kurt. It killed him that the man he once loved thought so little of him.

"You left me for New York, you broke my heart to be an amazing person in the city that you'd dreamed about your whole high school life. I couldn't tell you because I didn't want you to resent Milo and me for bringing you home - for you to hate me or... worse, to hate Milo."

"Blaine, I have spent one day with that little boy and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, that I have never been so sure about loving someone in my whole life. I kind of get where you're coming from but... never in a million years could I hate Milo." Kurt pleaded.

"What about me? ... Do you hate me?" Blaine whimpered with such heartbreak.

"I didn't come here for you - I came here for him." Kurt spoke sternly before spinning quickly around and striding back to the room where Milo was.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine rarely spoke the rest of the day. Once Kurt had walked back into the hospital playroom he planned on playing with Milo for as long as possible, Blaine had other ideas. Blaine decided that Milo was tired and needed to go back to his room before Kurt even had the chance to talk to him. Just as Blaine had tucked Milo back into his bed with Kurt sat watching from the chair, Blaine pulled Kurt back out into the corridor.

"I think it's time for you to go." Blaine said bluntly.

Kurt was astounded, "Excuse me?"

"It's getting late and everyday is long for Milo, so I want to put him to sleep and I'll see you at 10 tomorrow for your tests to see if you're a match." Blaine rambled off before turning around to walk back into Milo's room.

"Look, Blaine, I don't know what you expected from this but I am most certainly _not_ going to have these tests and provide bone marrow and _then_ go back to pretending like Milo never existed. I want to be his father. I want to be here and I _want_ to look after my son with him knowing that I'm his dad."

"He's 5. He doesn't need some man whose willing to break someone's heart to achieve him dreams in New York to experiment with what it's like to be a father. You have no idea, Kurt. Being a dad is more than being here. It's about loving your child unconditionally, giving up your life for them - -"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME TRY."

Silence.

"I want you to leave." Blaine whispered.

Kurt shook his head in disbelief. "Whether I am or am not a match for Milo. I am not going to let him go without a fight."

"Are you threatening me?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "If that's what it takes for me to be a father to Milo. So be it."

* * *

As soon as Kurt closed the door to his hotel room, the tears began. He'd tried to hold them in. He'd done so successfully the whole drive in his rental car from the hospital but now it just got too much.

Never in a million years did Kurt even think he'd have a biological child with another man, let alone that other man being his high school sweetheart who had lied to him and only told him about their son to make him well and live a long and happy life.

Not once did Kurt not want to help Milo get better, especially now he's met the most beautiful child in the world - but the thought of him failing Milo, not being able to make him better... It killed him. All this hope was on his shoulders; a feeling of big he was unsure even existed until this point; and the pressure was getting to him - tearing at his heart and making his head pound.

Then finally there's the thought of never seeing Milo again. Of Blaine taking him away from him when he's finally able to be there... Kurt never thought Blaine could be vindictive or lying - but today he showed a dark side. A dark side where he only thinks of Milo as _his_ son. A place where Kurt doesn't exist - doesn't get to try a be the father his father is to him.

Kurt slowly sat on his bed, head in his hands, sobs escaping his body in fitful gasps. He didn't even know how long had passed before the light of his phone took his attention with a picture of his dad calling him. He picked up the phone and rested it in the palm of one hand, looking at the alarm clock next to the bed saying it was 8.30pm - 11.30 in Ohio, he knew his dad: he was usually in bed by 10 falling asleep with Carole reading next to him.

He steadily pressed accept, bringing his phone slowly up to his ear.

"Dad?" He gasped out.

"Where the hell are you, kid?" Burt asked urgently.

"Um, well..." Kurt stumbled over his words. His breathing was all over the place and he hadn't even thought about telling his dad about any of this yet.

"I called your place this evening no pick up - thought you were running late or had been called in to do a show on your night off or whatever. Call two hours later. Nothing. Call your mobile and it's off. Call Rachel for her to go over and check on you and what? Doorman says you and some guy dashed out of there earlier on with suitcases. Just jet off somewhere, Kurt, it's not like we care about you." This did it. The floodgates were never going to close now.

"I'm really sorry, Dad." Kurt sobbed.

"Woah, Kurt buddy, what's up? You okay?... Where are you? You know I'll be there as soon as if you need me."

"...I'm in L.A., and... Blaine..." Kurt just couldn't seem to speak coherently at all.

"Blaine?!" Burt said astounded. "What's this to do with Blaine? Do I need to kick his ass?"

Kurt chuckled softly at this as he was finally able to slightly control his breathing. "Dad, something huge has happened...B -Blaine came and found me in New York. He - he has a son and um... he's my son too."

A long silence followed by a small whisper of "What?" followed.

"Blaine had a baby, my baby. And before you say anything I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true and it happened and he lied to me about it. Never told me our little boy existed and... God, he's so perfect, Dad. He's literally the most precious thing I've ever seen... and... and he's _really_ sick. That's why Blaine came and told me about him. He needs a transplant and they want to see if I'm a match."

Silence

"Dad please say something." He pleaded.

"I'm catching the next flight to L.A." Burt said monotonously. Kurt's heart jumped into his throat. That wasn't the reaction he wanted, sure the fact his dad is coming to see him was good but, he wanted questions and reassurance. And someone to tell him that it's all going to be okay.

"Thank you." Kurt politely responded.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?" He whimpered.

"What's my grandsons name?" That brought a small smile to Kurt's face. _Grandson._

"Milo." He breathed like it was the most perfect sound in the world.

"Alright, kid. I'll call you when I know what's going on... Please look after yourself. Love you."

"Love you too, Dad."

_'Dad'_ somehow that word had a whole new meaning now.

* * *

To say Kurt didn't sleep well was an understatement. The events of the previous days seemed to overplay in his mind all night. Then there was the pressure of what was to come.

As soon as Kurt walked back into the hospital at 10am the next morning, he was rushed off to have every blood test under the sun so they could assess his tissue to see if he was the right match for Milo. He was told repeatedly the chance was only 1 in 8 which thus made Kurt feel even more ill with pressure.

Blaine entered the room just as the nurse was taking her last amount of blood, ignoring Kurt completely, asking the nurse when the results will be available.

"We've got a lab in the hospital and we're moving the bloods straight into the urgent queue. Hopefully we'll have the results by mid-afternoon, evening at the latest."

"Thank you." Blaine smiled sweetly at the nurse as the told Kurt to apply pressure to his vein and started moving and clearing up her equipment.

"Not going to talk me then?" Blaine further ignored Kurt. "Blaine, you're not a child don't sulk." He scoffed.

"Sulk? Are you serious? You threaten to fight for custody of my son and you think I'm sulking?!"

"Custody?" Kurt said in disbelief. "Blaine, that was not what I meant. I was mad at you for implying that Milo was nothing to me and I said the first thing that came to my head. Never would I fight to have Milo taken away from you." Blaine ran his fingers through his un-gelled hair. Kurt got up, walking slowly over to him, resting a gentle arm on his. "What happened to make you so paranoid?"

"...The thought of the only person I truly love leaving me. That's what." He whimpered with tears in his eyes.

Kurt hoped he'd get to spend more time with Milo today. Turned out he was completely exhausted and Kurt and Blaine watched while he fitfully slept pretty much the whole day. Burt rang Kurt that morning saying him and Carole were boarding a flight and that they'll book in and see Kurt when he gets home from the hospital that night.

The day seemed to drag waiting for the results and finally at 4.25pm, Dr. Roberts entered the room quietly asking to see both Blaine and Kurt in his office.

All Blaine could think of was how his and Milo's whole life depended on this moment and there was Dr. Roberts with the news just strolling on down the corridor.

"If you'd please both take a seat." Kurt and Blaine nodded before slowly sitting down.

The tears were already pooling in Blaine's eyes, he was trying to make them stop - but so much depended on this moment.

"Mr Hummel, firstly I'd like to thank you for getting tested for the sake of Milo, he is one of the most pleasurable young boys I've ever treated. However, ..."

Blaine's heart sank. He didn't hear anything else. 1 in 8 chance was playing in his head. The thought of little Bobby going home to die with it next being his own baby. His chest started to heave and face start to crumble.

"... I'm very sorry, both of you, but you can't change genetics. I'm sorry, Mr Hummel but you're not a match. You can't provide the stem cells."

* * *

**Again super sorry, but if any of you are still here reviews make me so happy.**

**Also I posted a one shot a while ago, different from this 'verse, but if you'd take a look that would also mean a huge amount. It's on my profile called "The Darker Side of Life."**

**Thanks x**


	8. Chapter 7

**Thanks so much for the positive feedback, really appreciate it after leaving you in the lurch.**

* * *

Chapter 7.

Kurt felt so sick, his stomach was turning knots and his heart felt like it had been swallowed up by a black hole. He'd failed. The one thing in life he'd wanted to be able to do more than anything - he'd failed at. He was sure he was as white as a sheet with tear filled eyes. Dr. Roberts was talking about, God he didn't even know - everything just sounded like white noise.

He'd _failed_ Milo.

Blaine's face was swamped with tears and their tracks; marking his perfectly coloured skin. Every now and then he'd gasp and whisper a 'no' staring blankly out the window behind Dr. Roberts and his desk.

"So what's next?" Blaine whispered numbly. Kurt taken aback by the speed of his decision to find something new to fix his son.

"Well, we can further test Mr Hummel's family members if they're willing but the chances of any being a match are extremely slim. An alternative, which is seen as unethical by some, is for the two of you to have another child."

"What?" Kurt said astounded.

"They're commonly called 'saviour siblings'. The chance of having a baby with the same genetic tissue code as Milo is 1 in 4 - significantly higher than the both of your chances already and also, there is some in-vitro treatment which can specifically implant embryos that will be babies that will be able to provide stem cells, or in their case umbilical cord blood, to help Milo recover."

"No." Kurt immediately put his foot down. "You don't bring a baby into this world to be 'spare-parts' for another person. Any child of mine will not be some old-banger car."

"It's the only option we have, Kurt." Blaine whimpered. "I need, Milo, I don't care about how he stays in my life. He just does, okay?"

"I'm sorry, Blaine." Blaine scoffed in mistrust and a hand went to cover his mouth as if to stifle a sob. Kurt looked at Dr. Roberts directly in the eye, pleading, "There must be something else, please."

"The only other option is the one we've been relying since the start of this process and this is a un-related, donor register match."

Kurt looked frantically between the doctor and the father of his child. "Well then we'll keep waiting."

"Kurt, I know this has been explained to you already but Milo is mixed-race. With his different nationalities on Blaine's side of the family, it makes it very unlikely to be able to find a match - let alone a willing donor who isn't any relation to your son." The Doctor took a deep breath. "And we just don't have that kind of time to wait around anymore. Milo is getting more sick by the hour, we are running out of options and I think it may be time, Blaine," He diverted his attention to the dark haired young man "to start thinking about getting in touch with Make A Wish Foundation or simply making Milo's current days memorable and comfortable for all."

"Are you trying to say we should give up?" Blaine's hoarse ran through the room like a cold chill.

"No, not give up, just prepa-"

"Do not tell me to prepare for my son to die!" Kurt's heart broke into a million pieces at the complete anger yet undesirable sorrow in Blaine's voice as the younger man rose out of his chair and slammed his hands down on the desk. "Do you realise what we've done to get this far?! We've put him through so much pain and we've basically taken away the tiny bit of childhood he had... And you want that to be for nothing?! No! ... You don't know what I've been through to be sat here. Every day I am racked with such guilt over the fact that this might be my fault - like it's some cruel act of the universe to get me back for having a baby so young, or more likely for me being _this_ close to having my baby aborted. I lay down on that bed and some contraption was put inside of me and literally another few seconds and Milo just would have been taken away. I can't deal with the idea that we're just gonna give up and watch a five year old, _my_ five year old die - that... that is not what is supposed to happen!"

"Blaine -"

"Mr Anderson."

"Mr Anderson, I don't think you're in the correct frame of mind to talk about this right now. How about you go take a break and we'll reconvene tomorrow?" Dr. Roberts suggested hopefully.

Blaine turned and walked out the door but not before muttering, "When will I ever be in the right frame of mind to talk about _this._"

* * *

Kurt quietly thanked the doctor, of course he wasn't entirely sure of what - the news he wanted to hear was replaced with the basic idea that the son he'd just met, just learnt of, was going to die. He'd just got off the phone with Cooper who was up in paediatrics with Milo and was now walking out into the corridor, silently searching for Blaine before seeing him further down the long white hallway, sat with his head in his hands, slumped against the wall.

He approached Blaine slowly, sitting next to him and offering a comforting hand to his shoulder before saying anything.

"Blaine, Cooper wants me to take you home." He muttered. Blaine looked up from his hands, red rimmed eyes and biting his lip.

"I need to stay here with Milo." He whispered.

"Cooper said he'd stay. You need to sleep, Blaine, need to contemplate all that was said. Your brother that he'll stay with Milo tonight because you need a whole night of sleep, not a restless night looking after our son."

"What if I don't want to go?"

A soft, almost invisible smile played on Kurt's lips. "I'll drag you kicking and screaming... But I do kinda need directions to your house." Silence fell upon them. "I'm sorry, Blaine."

"I'm not mad at you, Kurt. Like Roberts said you can't control genetics. I'm mad that it's all over."

Kurt pleaded desperately against Blaine's numb like state. "But it's not all over; my dad will get tested. Carole, Finn, Rachel too."

"You heard the doctor. Nothing will help our baby now..." Kurt sat in awe that Blaine had referred to Milo has 'theirs'. Plural - completely ignoring the last quiet words on his lips. "Except what you're not willing to give."

* * *

"My heart hurts." Kurt stated simply, the two men were sat on the sofa in Blaine's living room. Each with a large glass of red wine.

"Everything hurts... I honestly thought nothing more would hurt more than when you broke up with me, and it did, it really hurt. But... Jesus Christ was I wrong."

A further amount of guilt rushed over Kurt. He brought him legs up onto the sofa and turned directly to face Blaine. "I really loved you, y'know that right?" Blaine shrugged his shoulders slightly staring right into Kurt's aqua orbs. "I did. And even though it was all me and I did it in a horrible way - the break up hurt me too. I'd lost the boy I thought I was going to spend forever with because of distance. Something we swore wouldn't affect us."

"It's in the past, Kurt." Blaine moved his hand to rest softly on Kurt's forearm, tracing little circles with his thumb.

"Yeah." Kurt spoke hoarsely, equally staring into Blaine's entrancing hazel eyes. They stayed that way for what felt like forever.

All of a sudden Blaine was leaning in and planted his lips on Kurt's. Kurt was taken completely by surprise, and before he knew it Blaine was pushing him to lie down on the sofa and he started kissing his neck.

"Blaine." He gasped. "God... Blaine stop." Blaine continued. "Blaine, stop!" Kurt pushed Blaine off of him, not hard just enough to rock him back so he'd sit back upright by himself. "What do you think you're doing?" Blaine sat there silently. "Look, it's been a long and terrifying day. I'm going to pretend this never happened, okay? God knows you'd regret it."

"No I wouldn't."

"Blaine - - ."

"Stop, 'Blaine'-ing me! I wouldn't regret it, Kurt." He said spitefully. "Not because I still love you or want to be a perfect family with you. So you could actually do what I asked of you and help me save Milo!"

"What? You sound like a crazy person!"

"I wanted to have sex with you so we could have another baby. So we can use that baby's stem cells to get Milo better."

"You have got to me kidding me!" Kurt stood up. "I told you I don't want to do that."

"Why? Because you read 'My Sisters Keeper' in High School?!" Blaine shouted sarcastically.

"No. Because I just found out I'm a father to a child whose already in so much pain, I don't need another brand new life that's a part of me to go through that exact same pain but as a innocent, day old baby!"

"Is this to do with me talking about the abortion?!" Kurt's jaw dropped, where did he get that one from? "Are you that disgusted with me that _again_ I'd consider hurting a little baby to better my own life, is that it?!"

"You're putting words in my mouth. Look, I love Milo just like you do but..."

"Love him like I do?! If you loved him like me you'd do this!" Blaine stormed out of the living room and into his bedroom.

* * *

Blaine was lying on his bed, curled into a ball on his side. He'd been there nearly an hour now, he'd hoped Kurt had left - even thought he had at one point but now he can hear him walking about - looking for Milo's bedroom no less.

Blaine hated the person he'd become. Baby's are precious, not some tool to make another child better. But the idea of him not trying everything to make Milo okay and him dying... it would honestly kill him too.

Plucking up all the courage he had, he stood up from the bed and opened his door to find Kurt standing in Milo's own bedroom directly opposite with the door wide open. He slowly approached the door frame of his little boy's room and lent on it. He didn't even make the slightest of sounds but Kurt knew he was there. "He likes space." Blaine murmured, watching Kurt look around the room in awe. It was a dusky cream on three walls, with a rather large navy cartoon spaceship (stencilled and painted by himself) on one of these walls; with a navy blue feature with planets on the wall his bed rested against.

"I had those sticky, glow in the dark stars on my ceiling too." Kurt whispered, almost regretfully. "Of course mine was classically decorated with glitter glue."

Blaine smiled at this before remembering where he was. "Yeah, one night he told me that when he used to wake up in the middle of the night - whether it be just because or if he had a bad dream - he'd wish on the stars for me to come find him because he didn't want me to be annoyed that he would wake me up by coming into my room. I always told him it was okay but he just didn't listen."

"He's compassionate."

"Definitely gets that from you."

"Look at me, Kurt, I'm angry and bitter and I'm taking everything out on you when it's all _my_ fault and all you're trying to do is help." Blaine's voice cracked with the last word and Kurt rushed over to him, pulling him into his arms in a crushing hug before whispering in his ear softly:

"That's not because you're a bad person - you're a good man, Blaine. You're just in a shitty situation." Blaine just sighed, holding onto Kurt with everything he had before his mobile in his pocket started ringing. He immediately pulled it out and answered it, without even looking at the dial.

"Hello? - Coop, what's up? - What? Okay um - Yeah, yeah, we'll be right down - Hey, it's okay, don't worry - No, I completely understand just trust the doctors okay, I know I've said bad things about them but they really do know what they're doing - Love you too, see you soon."

Kurt's heart plummeted as soon as Blaine's composure on the phone fell when he hung up.

"Something's wrong with Milo, we gotta go."

**And the award for most unpredictable writing patterns goes to me. Wheey. Sorry, I know it's just a filler - Burt will appear next!**

**Also, I'm not sure whether the Make A Wish Foundation mentioned in this chapter is international, but if you haven't heard of it before - please search it up and have a read of their website - the do the most amazing work.**

**Reviews = happiness x**


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